Shame

Shame. We all have things to be ashamed about. Shame is usually a feeling that is given to us by someone else. It's one of the few feelings that we don't ever seek out. Fear[we will go on a roller coaster], sadness[we'll watch a sad movie], but shame, we don't seek out.
What will help us with our shame is to remember that whatever you have done, if there's a name for it, you're not the first one to have done it! Now if you have done something so awful that it has not even been named yet,then i want to see the video! We have to be very careful with shame based religions, teachers, and even parents.
Teach your children the word "ooops". Teach them how to make mistakes. Make sure you check what your Bible studies are teaching the child. i have a real problem with "Jesus died for your sins" when you say it to a 5 year old. The child hasn't sinned yet. That's shame. He's thinking Jesus died cause he spilled his milk. Be careful with that. Be careful with teachers that teach shame.
If you want to help your child avoid addiction, teach him to be proud of who he is. Teach him that it's "okay" to make mistakes. Teach him that what is wrong with him is that he is just a little bit different...that's it. Some people really get upset and lay shame on someone just because he or she is not like them. If you want to help eliminate or reduce your childs chance of becoming an addict, make them strong; give them power. i think we all seek some control. If you carry your life like you would a handful of jello, gently, you will have control over it. It's when you squeeze really hard that it comes out between your fingers and you have no control. Everybody wants some control.
Teach your child that he can have some control in the family events. Let him pick the Thursday night dinner meal. If he picks jelly bean sandwiches....so what. No one's gonna die. And he will have some control over what happens in the family. i think its important. i think it's a lesson that needs to be taught. Learn how to be in control without being controlling. Learn how to have power over how your day is going. Give them a space in the house that doesn't have to be perfectly picked up. As long as it is not a health hazard, who cares. It's their spot. Give them some control. Give them some power over their little lives and i think you'll see a benefit. Or....
You can try and control them as my father did....with a belt strap.
Here i am 29 years sober because of the shame and the quilt and the negative reinforcement of rules such as "don't do as i do...do what i tell you to do. You can try that or....
keep doing what you are doing and see how that works out......